To all my single homegirls, I write this to you as if I were talking to myself when I was in your shoes (boots, heels, chanclas
, whatever is cool these days).
I’ve heard (and said) these words pre-marriage. Heck, even before Tim and I dated…
*Looks best girlfriend in the eye sitting across from me in the coffee shop*
“… I just. I guess I just want a man after God’s own heart.”
First of all. YAS to your high standards (insert emoji praise hands here). Absolutely. Marry the dude who loves Jesus above all else. Marry him good, hashtag the heck out of your wedding and make ALL DA BABIES.
But also, for just a quick sec, may I have permission to drop this tidbit into your sweet and sassy mind?:
A man after God’s own heart is still human.
A human who, although loves Jesus and does his best, will still fall short because he is not Jesus and should not be Jesus to you.
*Picks up said mic again*
The phrase A man after God’s own heart comes from the Bible when Samuel tells King Saul that God has removed Saul as king and that “The LORD has sought out for Himself a man after His own heart”, David (1 Samuel 13:14). David is the unexpected kid who slayed Goliath, gifted poet (swoon), loyal friend and bffl to Jonathan, and Israel’s second king all by age 30. An incredible man of God, to say the least. Howevs, he had a few, shall we say, moral lapses, such as lusting after a woman, sleeping with her, getting her pregnant and then plotting the death of her husband (one of his high ranking officials) so he could marry her (see 2 Sam. 11, that Old Testament can be gnarly).
He repented, deeply. I mean, have you read his stuff ? You should (Psalm 51). Despite David’s most esteemed badas*ery and his royal (literally) screw-ups, he is remembered more than anything else as a man after God’s own heart. God chose to work all things together for good in David’s life. In fact, God even sent His son Jesus to be a descendant of David’s.
Bottom line: dudes will mess up. But if they choose whole-heartedly a life of restoration in Jesus? AND not just you, but others close to you can see the fruit of that life? Go for it. Because a man that chases after Jesus with all he’s got, especially when things get rough, is a man worth your attention. So when you say that you want a man after God’s own heart, accept that you’re getting his humanness along with it. Give love and grace, and then some more love and grace. Just like you’d want him to give to you.
NOTE: If you are dating some foo (purposefully no “l”) who is clearly a hot mess and just plain manipulative, just stop it. This post is not about him. And you probably need to kick him to the curb.
*Bey voice* Stop. Carry on.
The life God has for you now and in your future is rad. God will answer your prayers. God will give you the desires of your heart, and then some. My life is living proof of that, daily. Take heart and enjoy the ride.