Mavis Beacon, I can do this.
It’s been many moons since I’ve sat before the great blank white page to write. In short; a new job, engagement, wedding, new home, marriage, newer job, and then I remembered that writing is something I enjoy.
For months I’ve been allowing my tunnel vision to dictate my desires. In a fit of frustration and emptiness, I told the Lord “If this is all you’ve got, I’m done.”
Problem #1: I told the Lord.
Whenever I tell God anything out of aggravation, he surfaces the root issue.
My mother always told me that when I was in her womb, she felt the Lord say that I was set apart for God’s ministry. Well, if I’m set a part, when is it going to be my turn? When is God going to do something with me? When will someone speak over my life and tell me that God told them that I’m going to do something great?!
Ugh, it felt like “…and none for Gretchen Wieners.”
Problem #2: I was waiting for someone else to speak over my life.
You know when someone looks at you and asks “what’s wrong?” and you just start crying? Tim, my husband asked me that and BAM, the try-to-salvage-the-makeup-ugly-cry emerged. (Go ahead, reenact that cry as you continue reading.)
Then he asked “If you could do anything in the world right now, what would it be?”
After circles of processing out loud, I gave my answer.
- BIRTH our children.
- WRITE a blog-turned-book.
- SPEAK to inspire women.
- ADVOCATE for anti-human trafficking.
If I believe I serve a God who does exceedingly abundantly far beyond anything I could ask for or imagine, and he put these desires in my heart, and knows how my spirit stirs with a Tazmanian Devil-type passion for these things… then God WILL see it come to pass. He WILL replace my limitations with his limitless. He WILL give me favor, hope and determination to see it come into fruition.
A friend of mine told me,
“God must love you so much, I mean, look at the husband he gave you!”
Pause. Glare. Where are you going with this? Hoops out if need be.
Disclaimer: I love, honor, and respect my husband. With that being said, I’m a strong Puerto Rican, Mexican, God-fearing woman as an individual.
“Your husband has to be comfortable in his own skin for what God is going to do through you.”
Ah, the breath of life that flowed through me and rejuvenated my spirit from that statement.
Here’s to my first entry *pours some out for the homies*. My declaration that God will see my desires come to pass and He will do a great work through me.
And so I ask you, what have you told God lately? Are you waiting for someone else to speak over your life? And lastly, if you could do anything in the world, what would it be?